Bach Rescue Remedy

I had a performance over the holidays with a great trumpeter. Before the performance he pulled a bottle out of his pocket and put some of its contents in his mouth. He explained to me that it was Bach Rescue Remedy. He said that it helps with performance anxiety problems. I don't blame him for taking it. The performance was quite hair raising. He also played incredibly well. I went to the health food store and picked some of the remedy up the next chance I got. It was kind of expensive. It cost me around twenty dollars. It comes in a small spray bottle. It looks kind of like it might contain breath freshener. The instructions on the bottle say 'Can help relieve every day stress.' I did some research on the Internet and found several sites devoted to it. Most of them say that it is for relief of acute stress. It also listed quite a few famous people who use it. I found one website that said it was for emergency use only.

I got some and decided to try it. Being the careful person that I am, I decided not to try it before a performance. I tried some Sunday night. I noticed an effect within about three minutes. I felt more relaxed and less tense. Within about ten minutes the perpetually tight muscles of my jaw relaxed. This was a rather big deal for me because I have consciously been working on this problem. I found myself relaxed but not collapsed. I found it to be a rather idyllic state. However, I still found my mind to be quite sharp. I played some reflex demanding video games and found my response to be normal to a little above normal. I took it around 5:00pm. At 7pm I was completely exhausted and went to sleep. I had not slept well at all the night before. I am not sure if exhaustion was a side effect of the remedy or not.

At 10pm the covers flew off my bed. They really flew. Like some one grabbed them and ripped them off the bed. It absolutely scared the crap out of me. My pulse raced and my stomach muscles constricted. I guess terror would be a good description. I believe that they slowly fell off while I was asleep and then quickly dragged themselves the rest of the way off the bed. I felt a sudden terror again a little later. I fought it off and it didn't cause the same physical effects. While I was fighting it off, I had the sensation of pushing off a weight. I knew that if I let it fall on me I would be terrified again. A little later this happened again and I wasn't able to fight it off. The covers hadn't fallen off my bed but I had about the same sensation of terror. I believe that this may have been an aftershock of the original incident. Just remembering it, I am starting to have adrenaline problems. I slept fine the rest of the night.

I woke up at 4:30 the next morning. I felt rested and I didn't feel any lingering effects from the night before. I did some homework, ate breakfast and went to school. I went to the knowledge bowl practice and was noticeably sharper than usual. My reaction time was much faster and I had more confidence. First period was the same as it ever was. During second period I made it through a tedious task less painfully than usual. Third I began to get spacey. It got worse as the day went on. During 5th period I was called on and had no idea what number we were on or the instructions for how to do it. Sixth period I just listened to an autobiography of a substitute teacher. Seventh period band went fine. However, I have trained myself to really focus while making music. I am not sure if band would be a good indication of whether or not I am losing focus. After school I was mindlessly doodling in the high range and hit a high e flat. That is the highest note that I have played in over a year. I am sure I told everyone who was still there in the band room. I believe I hit it due to my complete lack of thought or focus.
I got home from school around 4. I mindlessly surfed the Internet until around 5:30. My mom came home and asked me why I wasn't at my trombone lesson. I had looked at my schedule about an hour earlier and just missed it completely. I now feel like a bump on a log. I have done nothing productive since 2nd period.

My conclusion: I believe Bach Rescue Remedy is for emergency use only. It works rather well. I might use it before auditions. The terrifying feelings I had at night brought me back to my childhood. I used to have those problems almost every night. They stopped after a certain age. I learned that it wouldn't happen if I slept on my stomach. I believe also that as I became more tense the feelings of terror at night went away. I guess the rescue remedy brought me back to a state similar to that of childhood. It got rid of the stress that was causing me to tense up. This release of tension may have caused the ill effects. I don't believe that it brought back my visual perception problem.

I believe that although it works, I need to test it more. The effects that may or may not have been caused by the remedy may have been pure coincidence. I intend to use it next Sunday. I will report on my findings.